(January, 1985)
Google Groups: net.singles:
Actually, I think the question of ‘What is love’ is really two questions.
The unspoken side of it is what I will deal with first.
What isn’t Love
Love isn’t living happily ever after. Love isn’t a solution, a way of life,
or an end of problems. Love isn’t never having to say you’re sorry (the man
that said that should be shot, he obviously has never loved). Love isn’t a
do all, a cure all, a see all, a know all, or a remedy for baldness, hay
fever, or hormonal imbalances. Love isn’t music whenever she enters the
room, marriage ceremonies, sex, children, rings, orgasms, or vows. Love
isn’t well understood, well defined, or (it seems, unfortunately) properly
identified.
What is Love
Love is trust. Love is letting someone inside that wall, where all the deep
dark secrets of your life are. Love is allowing yourself to be weak when
you can’t be strong, to be vulernable when you can’t be untouchable, to
allow someone the opportunity to really dig deep into your psyche and hurt
you because you know they won’t. Love is caring, and sharing, and wanting
your hopes and fears to be known by others. Love is laughing at the good,
crying with the bad, commiserating with the sad. Love is being there, in
body, mind, spirit, thought, or being. Love is hard work– it doesn’t solve
problems, it creates new problems; problems that you want to solve, but
solve together instead of alone. Love doesn’t happen, love is nurtured,
like a fine rose. If not properly fed and watered, love dies, just as a
vine will die of neglect. Love doesn’t cling, but love is the glue that
binds two very different people into a single being that is nothing like
either, but a lot like both. Love is stroking the hard, grabbing the
fingers, smiling, laughing, crying. Love is looking into each others eyes,
and knowing, without speaking. Love is all the joys and pains and hope and
fears and successes and failures and pasts and futures of two people
congealed into a single energy that allows them to share with each other in
ways others can’t understand. Love is knowing that you have something that
can be freely given, but never have less of; shared, and multiplied; but
never, never taken, stolen, or destroyed.
I think, though, that the most important definition is this:
love is.
